One black girl's opinions

Jedi mind tricks...

2009-01-13T00:00:00.000-05:00

So 2009 is almost 2 weeks old, people are still saying happy new yr. (that should last just a few more days)resolutions have been made (for some already broken) and as for me not much has changed. To put it bluntly, I feel exactly the same. Same job, same 8:48am train, same cravings for sweets, same argument w/my husband. Same, Same, Same!! While I think the whole idea of new yr. - new you is somewhat overrated, I do admit to needing a little shift in my routine. I think the real challenge is finding something sustainable that might become a part of my routine, a new part. Something that causes everything else to take a step forward or a step back. I am officially soliciting suggestions, examples, advice, words of wisdom, whatever you want to call it. I would love to hear how the new yr. has inspired you or how you plan to sustain a new idea, activity or action.

6 days to history...

2008-10-29T14:00:00.000-04:00

This may be preaching to the converted, but I thought I'd post anyway. It may be too late to register, but there is still time to vote. Please vote.

In one week...

2008-10-27T17:00:00.000-04:00

This speech was delivered today.

Dear Ashley Todd...

2008-10-27T00:01:00.002-04:00

I'm not sure what aspects of your situation upset me more, that you crafted such a ridiculos story about being attacked (robbed & sexually assulted) and having the letter "B" carved into your face or the fact that it became a national news story before it was fully investigated and determined to be a hoax. You are actually unimpressive, I mean the mere fact that you carved the "B" into your face backwards, tells me that despite your college education your intellect is in question. Thank God, the Assitant Chief of police in Pittsburg, Maurita Bryant (a sister) saw the holes in your story from the very begining and is calling you on the carpet for wasting the time and energy of the police department. I read that the chapter of the campus republicans, where you are a member started to distance themselves from you as soon as the story was reported. Even they knew you were full of it.

Actually, I do know what bothers me most and that is the willingness of far too many people in this country to accuse black men of heinous crimes and the willingness of far too many people in this country to beleive them. Too many people wanted your story to be true, they don't really care about tax plans, health care and war, they care about maintaining some sort of mythical race based status quo. Obviously, fear and desperation drove your plan, the fear that in a week a black man might actually be president of this country. The truth of the matter is that whether or not he wins, this country is forever changed because of what he has accomplished. He has shown us all what is possible, clearly even you got that message. Brace yourself girl, the times they are a changin' and if not him there will be others.

Still kickin' it old school...

2008-10-22T00:00:00.000-04:00

My last post about going to college in the 80's was missing music so I just wanted to remind folks of how dope the music was then.

Who didn't get a hair cut like this.

Everybody say Oh la, Oh la, Aye...Check out the shoulder pads in their jackets.

I'll end with this last video, maybe this one needs to be released again.

Days gone by...

2008-10-21T11:30:00.001-04:00

This weekend I went back to my undergraduate school for homecoming and the 25th anniversary of the campus chapter of Mr. MR's fraternity (He's a Kappa) . Honestly, I was a little ambivalent about going and I wasn't sure why. SPOILER ALERT!! It has been 19 years since I left college and I guess I was unsure of how I was going to feel smack dab back in the middle of a place that had a role in shaping the person that I think I am today. I also think it had something to do with feeling "older". When I think about the yrs. I spent there I think of myself as I was then, but returning means I have to create a new vision of myself in that environment and that vision is not 19 anymore. I also think I wanted to hold on to that feeling of the campus and the community "belonging" to me, I didn't want to see it as a visitor. I took a 16 yr. old family friend with me and trying to show her around, proved that I was as much a visitor as she was. I can't tell you how many times I said, "that building wasn't here when I was a student" or "This is a brand new space" or better yet "I can't remember blah, blah, blah... Let's just call the experience sobering. What I did realize with fondness is that I loved that time of my life, all of it, the school, the experiences, the friends, the ups and downs-the whole thing. After talking to many of the people there I also realized that being in college in the 80's rocked. The music was good, we had the best of hip hop, reggae and r&b. We had great dances, remember the wop, charlie brown and the prep. Our hair was did with high top fades, slopes, zig-zag parts and asymmetrical cuts. We had shoulder pads, Reebok's, shell toes, Le Tigre and Izod. We had The Cosby Show and A Different World. We fought for divestment from South Africa and Mandela's freedom. We achieved in spite of Reaganomics and the growing conservative movement. It was an amazing period to grow into adulthood and I'm thankful for those times and I miss how they made me feel. I'm good with who I am and how I've turned out, but it was good to go back for a few days. Love to all my 80's peeps!!!

Worst nightmare...

2008-10-15T22:00:00.000-04:00

Yesterday, at work I became one of those people, you know the ones who hit the send button on an email and send it to one or more people who shouldn't be getting it. Before yesterday I was one of those other people, you know the ones who couldn't believe that someone could be so careless or stupid to not pay attention to the people listed in the address box. In my work I have a little bit (a very little bit) of contact with politicians and other government folks, so yesterday I was copied on this letter from a colleague who was contacting someone in the governor's office. Well, I promptly replied to the sender and my other colleagues who were included in the communication with a few thank you's and a smart mouth comment. What I missed was that the governor's office guy was a part of the recipient group. Luckily, I didn't say anything to horrible or embarrassing, but I was nonetheless still mortified. As soon as I hit the send button I realized what I had done and I freaked! I tried to retract the email, I tried to delete the email, I called our help desk (that's a misnomer BTW because they were no help). About 5 minutes later I got a second email from the original sender letting me know what I had done. Dude I was well aware. Damn! Damn! Damn! I couldn't believe I had done that. I eventually pulled myself together and got over it a few hours and one coconut chocolate macaroon later. Moral of the story-be kind to those people, you never when you might become one of them.

I have a fan...

2008-10-14T18:00:00.001-04:00

Someone reached out to me on Facebook and asked what was up with my blog. To quote "Uh, dude, the blogging is done? Sept. 18th?" which was the date of my last post. No, the blogging is not done, it was just on a small hiatus. I originally eased up because I was doing the fitness bootcamp (which I loved) and quite frankly could only focus on one activity solely for my own personal fulfillment at a time. Then I was having trouble with my motivation, my blogging mojo, so to speak. I have had a ton of ideas, the election alone is fodder for ample opinions, but when it was time to put pen to paper, nothin'. My trusty notebook has been with me the whole time and is filled with opening sentences, thought bubbles, but nothing concrete. So this is me taking the necessary baby steps back to espousing my view on all things happening in the world.

1. The Secret Life of Bees was a good read and I am looking forward to the movie.

2. Tina Fey is the greatest female comedian since Lucille Ball and I forgive her for that Hillary thing.

3. I fell terrible that I have not seen the new Spike Lee movie yet.

4. I'm pretty sure that Puffy and Aubrey from Danity Kane had a physical relationship, they're disgust for each other is the type that comes from having been intimate w/someone. I love that song "Damaged".

5. I heard Jennifer Hudson say "mowtoe", she meant to say "motto". This happened when she was on Oprah. Ouch!!

6. In less then 20 days "Obama 08" will be a reality or there will be riots.

7. I think I want to become a personal trainer.

8. I've decided that I want my daughter educated in a same sex environment.

9. I have become a fan of "The View" this season, I DVR it and watch later. The hot topics portion is good t.v., Joy Behar is my favorite. I like Whoppie but she pissed me off when they had that conversation about the use of the "N" word and I'm holding a grudge.

10. To be fair I have at least one other fan, my sister has been on my case about getting back to the blog, but she is required to love what I do.

11. I celebrated my birthday in September.

12. My son started Viola lessons at school and seems to like it. Please God let this be the "thing". He needs another "thing" besides the Wii and Playstation.

13. I got onto Twitter.

Thanks Dee.

Fact becomes fiction...

2008-09-18T17:00:00.003-04:00

I saw this piece on the news this morning (Today show) where they fact-checked some of the claims that Palin has been making about her experience and you guessed it, none of it is true.

Foreign Policy:
She went to Iraq- She actually went to Kuwait and stepped across the border.
She went to Ireland- Her plane stopped there for refueling.

Energy:
Alaska produces 20% of of the of the nation's energy- they produce oil and it's about 11%.

Ebay:
She sold the former gov.'s private plane on ebay and made a profit- it did sell but the state of Alaska took a loss.

Bridge to nowhere-
She claims to have been against this earmark project. She has been crisscrossing the country telling people that she told the Feds. "thanks, but no thanks. The truth is there is video proof that she supported the project and only changed course when the Feds. pulled out, but she didn't see fit to return the earmark millions that had already come into the state for the project.

Last night on the Rachel Maddow show (MSNBC) she revealed that during Palin's administration in Wasilla, she charged women (victims) for the rape kit that is used to collect evidence in rape and sexual assault cases.

It is astonishing that this woman is even being given the time of day. Calling her a reformist is being kind. This woman is a cave dweller in terms of her thinking and regard for women's issues.

53 days and counting...

2008-09-12T17:00:00.001-04:00

Boot camp and back to school have this old girl too tired for words, literally! When not doing all the things a "good" mother and wife has to do to keep the ship running, I am back on a steady diet of news. The Republican convention had me vexed to say the least. I can't believe the straight out lies that they try to pass off as a platform.
A few posts back I talked about an Obama win being up to us and that seems more true now then ever. Ask everyone you know if they are registered, if they aren't then get them registered. For new registrants you only need to reside in an area for 30 days prior to the election to be eligible to vote in that area. Decision day is a mere 53 days from today and we have to make sure we are armed as we march into battle.

2 hours down...

2008-08-26T23:59:00.001-04:00

I have completed 2 sessions of boot camp and so far, so almost good. I mean that in the most positive way. I'm pretty sore and I've been popping ibuprofen like tic-tacs, but if that's my biggest complaint after two grueling days of the most intense physical activity I have engaged in since two turns at natural childbirth, then that's not so bad. What I have learned to date:

It is really dark at 5:30 in the morning. (see photo)

I must be Jamaican because if I am required to run a distance of more then 200 meters, I'm done. The timed mile was nothing short of torturous for me. My time was a frightening 14:39, which I believe qualifies me for a wood medal.

My bathroom scale loves me and has been lying to me for months. She wanted me to feel good about myself so she keep about 20lbs. from me.

Having to climb the subway stairs with sore legs and gluteus maximus is absolutely no fun.

I am in a shape, just not one I want to stay in.

Wish me luck!! 2 hrs. down and 18 more to go.

P.S.- *Jamaicans are fine runners, big up to all the gold medal winners*

It is official...

2008-08-26T12:00:00.001-04:00

Based on the recommendation of my spiritual adviser "Chief rivers that run deep and wit that soars with the birds" and much thought I have decided to change my name. My new signature name will be Mrs. MR. I like how it is both strong and elusive all at the same time. On the occasion that my husband comments on my blog or the blogs of others he will sign as Mr. MR. I am considering making this change really official, social security, DMV, birth certificate - the whole nine. I figure I will try it out informally at work for a few days because I can always count on those guys to try something new.

Peace out,

Mrs. MR

Evil eye...

2008-08-25T05:00:00.001-04:00

On Friday I was going into Filene's Basement at 14th St./Union Square. I was walking towards the elevator doors (to go upstairs) and as I was approached they opened and people started to file in. This one woman gets in, presses her number and then turns around and looks at me as I start my quick step so as not to have the doors close on me, but of course they start to close. Does she reach out to press the door open button, or use her hands to keep the door open, NO! The crazy thing is she never takes her eyes off of me. ATSSh! One should at least look away when practicing elevator shadiness. Well, my quick step turned into a slight jog and I stuck my shopping bag and foot into the doors and got onto the elevator. Then I leaned up against the wall and proceeded to give her the evil eye for the entire elevator ride. She tried to turn away but my gaze was piercing, I think my x-ray vision burned a small hole in her shirt. Seriously, though what happen to common courtesy, looking out for your neighbor? My destination was obvious, so it's not like she could've been confused. I just don't get people sometimes.

5:30 AM...

2008-08-22T05:00:00.000-04:00

In an effort to jump start my fitness slump I have signed up for a women's only boot camp program. It will run for 4 weeks, 5 days a week starting on 8/25. The workouts are 1 hr. long and will begin at 5:30 am. So am I crazy or what? I think this will be good for me. I've really been struggling for motivation lately and I feel like this could do the trick. Plus, I've already committed the money so that ought to get my ass up in the morning. Mr. R is one of those "pain is good" types so I think he is more excited then I am about this adventure. I'm actually a little nervous about the whole thing. This is a pretty big commitment and I haven't invested this much time in myself since before I had kids. I have one other small concern and that is I hope I'm not the only black woman there. I like white people, some of my best friends are white but the truth is it gets tired being the "only" one sometimes. Don't get me wrong I will rise to whatever occasion I am confronted with and make lemonade, cause thats what we do. Oh, there is one other concern, my hair is going to look like crap for 4 weeks. I'm pretty sure I will be so tired I will have little else to blog about so expect to hear plenty more about my boot camp experience.

Milestones...part 2

2008-08-21T06:00:00.001-04:00

Today is my Nana's birthday, she is 78 yrs. old. Besides my mother, she is the other constant in my and my sisters lives and I am thankful for that. We all have kids now and men folk, but at the end of the day it all started out with just us girls. Throughout my life I have taken great effort to learn and appreciate my history as a Black woman in this country. I've seen every episode of "Eyes on the Prize", read countless books, took college courses and viewed "Roots" more than once. With all that, nothing has embodied the spirit and strength of what it means to be a Black woman in this country more then the example set by her. When I was a kid she seemed larger than life. Spirit never broken, head never bowed. Obviously, she experienced trying times, but she never let it show. Before she retired she never missed a days work and she was never late. She always had her own money and bought herself whatever she wanted, but has never been careless with money, she worked too hard for it. She always dressed with pride and took great care in how she presented herself (she still does). When her hair wasn't did she would turn to an impressive cache of wigs(I wore my 1st. hairpiece at about 8 yrs. old). She has "church" clothes and always wears a hat to church. Playing dress up in her closet and drawers as a kid was a sheer treat. She makes a cake we call the "yellow cake" which there is no real recipe for and her sweet potato pie is legendary. She taught us how to learn about the world by setting the example of reading the newspaper everyday. To this day though her eyesight is not what it used to be she reads the paper and does the crossword puzzle. I read the paper everyday because of her. Even though her education stopped early in her life, she is by far one of the smartest people I know. There is no person or event local or world wide that she doesn't know something about. Every baby born into our family, including cousins, nieces and nephews have been through the right of passage called "lay that baby on Momma's bed". She hums church songs and uses terms of endearment like "sugarfoot". She has been the silent contributor to many a college fund, funeral bill and even a bail bonds man or two. She takes pride in her southern roots and we are therefore proud to be country. She has attended the same church in NY for 40 years and still contributes to the church in her childhood community in the south.
Now, I would be remiss if I didn't fess up that she is a tough old broad, but that's okay she has seen enough that we can give her that. You try living through segregation/jim crow, northern migration, prejudice, sexism, widowdom and cancer. You might have an attitude sometimes too. Of course we worry about her now as she has gotten older and her list of ailments grows longer, but I am thankful that she still has her right mind and her wit. Many people don't get to grow up with their grandparents so I know how lucky I am. I know how lucky my kids, niece and nephew are to have a great-grandparent to love and be loved by.

Happy Birthday Momma, I love you.

Out of it...

2008-08-20T00:01:00.000-04:00

Vacation does a body good, going back to work-not so much. I am in a post vacation funk. I don't have any enthusiasm for work and I can't believe the kids go back to school in less than 2 weeks. I know as you get older the summer months seemingly go by quicker, but this one moved at the speed of light. We have 4 day work weeks at my job for about 2 months in the summer and everyone is always so excited right before they start. The anticipation of having Fridays off puts everyone in the best of moods. But as it gets closer to the time when we have to return to a 5 day week everybody starts acting all sad and ish. I think a 4 day work week should be the standard. I always get so much done and feel so well rested when I have Fridays off. This week the Mega Millions jackpot is 83 million. I put in my numbers yesterday, the only way to have a shorter work week is to not work at all. Wish me luck!

Vacation...

2008-08-18T00:01:00.002-04:00

My family and I joined two other families for a week long vacation in Martha's Vineyard. A full 7 days of being unplugged (no email, no phone) was a real treat. If you've been to the island then you know of its charm and beauty. If you have not been, then I strongly suggest you put it on your list of places to visit. There are numerous things about our stay that I enjoyed, like the company of the other families, our excursions around the island, the breath taking scenery and the fresh fish my kids and niece caught for dinner. I think my favorite thing was all the black folks/families there vacationing. We spend so much time lamenting about what is wrong with the black community that I think we forget ( I know I do) that there are plenty of folks out there doing the right thing. They're enjoying there families, creating memories and just plain having a good time. I was also inspired by the history of blacks and Native Americans on the island that I think is often overlooked. It was my first visit but it will not be my last .

notes:

I took the photographs posted.

The house pictured was the home of Madame C.J. Walker.

Midnight train...

2008-08-07T00:01:00.001-04:00

Back when my husband and I were dating and it seemed that we were in it for the long haul I started telling him things about myself that I thought important for him to know(and vice versa). My main thinking was that if they ever resurrected the Newlywed game I wanted to be assured that we would win. I had watched that show enough as a kid to know that not only was it important to win, it was crazy embarrassing when couples didn't know basic things about each other. I don't do embarrassment. Preparation, preparation, preparation...
One of the things I told him is that Gladys Knight is my absolute favorite female singer. There are lots of people that I love like Etta, Ella, Dina, Sarah, Phyllis, Barbara, Pattie, just to name a few but for me Gladys is the it. (I refuse to put last names, if you don't know figure it out and shame on you!) Now over the course of 15 years I have repeated it numerous times and while we have never been on any televised game show where that information was pertinent, he is ready to use it if need be. On our anniversary (8/1) my husband came through big time and we saw my girl Gladys Knight in concert. The concert was at an intimate theater in the round that used to be called the Westbury Music Fair. No seat in the place is bad but there was no seat better than ours, first row next to the stage. Before I try to find the words to describe Gladys, let me talk a little about the opening act, none other then Mr. Peabo Bryson. Peabo is one of the most underrated male R&B singers around. He saaaaang!! for us, you hear me what I tell you. He looks great and his voice was in fine form. He sang all his hits and also did a moving rendition of Sade's King of Sorrow. For the King of Sorrow he also played the hell of out the guitar, who knew he even played. Truly, he should record his rendition.
Well, I don't think there are sufficient words to describe the brilliance of Gladys. At 64yrs. old she can out sing any 5 top female r&b singers of today. She sang her hits, she covered a few of the jazz/early r&b great ladies of the past and she also did a cover of Boyz to Men's End of the Road that was simply perfection. She is a great vocalist and the consummate entertainer. Since seeing her on Friday I have been watching old performance footage on Youtube and she truly has the same richness in her voice as she did in the early years of her career. It was a real treat that I will not soon forget. My husband and I had a fantastic time.
Mr. R Your the best thing that ever happened to me.

Just call me Dr. Frankenstein...

2008-08-06T00:01:00.000-04:00

My daughter is the best kid ever. She is smart, funny, cute as a button and a whole bunch of other wonderful things. She like many kids look up to their parents and other important adults in their lives. In her case she often talks about wanting to be like me and her two aunties, which is great. She knows that I blog and that my sister does as well and she wants to now blog. So on 7/31 I let her guest blog here. She wrote and damn good blog about toy safety and I just want to say again I swear she wrote it herself (a fine example of Montessori education). So when she was all done she said she wanted to do a blog once a week, I nodded approvingly. Then she got a few comments and she went nuts, "who commented, what did they say, can I call people and tell them to read it". Talk about ambitious. Well know she is talking about several times a week and that she needs a new journal to work in...I have created a monster. I think some of the initial zeal will die down when 3rd. grade gets into full swing but what if it doesn't and I have to type her blogs and mine? What if her musings become more widely read and commented on then mine? Will I have to break her pencils and burn the journal that I bought? What if she starts skipping school to sit in Starbucks and perfect her craft? What if she wants to blog about my parenting skills? That's probably when I'll put my foot down. The point is, I think Morena says is here to stay.

Random likes and dislikes...continued

2008-08-05T00:01:00.001-04:00

You probably think I walk around with a screw face all the time. I don't like this, I don't like that...but that is absolutely not the case. I actually strive to find the good in all things, but there are some things that just need to be addressed, so here are a few dislikes that I forgot to mention last time.

I don't understand why jellies are back in style and why they cost so much. I recently saw a pair in that "gladiator" style that were $69.00. I also saw some designed by Kate Spade, WTF! Come on they are plastic shoes and if I recall they give you blisters and are hard to walk around in when your feet get sweaty.

On the other hand I know that Crocs are officially "out" and not the most attractive shoes but they are super comfortable. Now they are for relaxed, hang out type situations only. They should never darken the door of the workplace or too many other places for that matter. Of course I have a pair(flip/flop style).

I do not like the new interface/layout on Facebook. It was fine as just the way it was. While on the subject of Facebook, I miss Scrabulous. Why couldn't have worked with those obviously smart Indian guys and left us players alone. That is one of the things I like about Apple, instead of fighting all these young computer innovators who create applications for their products, they embrace them and the technology. Everybody wins.

I am really starting not to like ice cream as I am becoming obsessed with gelato. OMG!! that stuff is the real deal. SAT flashback moment: Analogies - Gelato is to ice cream what champagne is to Mad Dog 20/20. Whatever you do please try some and if you know what I'm talking about have some more.

It bugs me to no end when as a family of 4 we can have upwards of 8-10 wash clothes in our bathroom. Basically nobody except me puts theirs away so every time there is a need for one, they just snatch up a new one. Actually we have the same issue with bath towels. There are not enough places to hang the collection of towel we seem to generate. Well guess who is doing all this wash cloth and towel laundry. Damn right its me. Remember how your mother used to pin your bus pass to your jacket sleeve so you wouldn't loose it, well that is where I'm headed with this situation.

Milestones...

2008-08-01T00:01:00.006-04:00

Today is my 15th wedding anniversary. Congratulations to me and my husband, we are blessed to have hung in there this long. I have seen some folks drop out of the race long before they get to this lap and I must admit that it shakes me every time. When I jumped the broom way back when I was in it for the long haul. Now there have been days that I wanted to chop his head off and I know that he would say the same about me. The crazy thing is I couldn't imagine allowing any other person to drive me to that kind of fury. So instead of calling it something dark and scary, I prefer to call it passion. Passion and love are intense and bring out all levels of emotion in folks and we are no exception. I have said before that my husband is the "Shiznit" and that is still true. So to my life partner I say I love you and I am looking forward to the next 15. Oh yeah, tonight ya' know you gotta bring it, cause we got some celebratin' to do. Holla!

P.S.- 15 years is a long time and yes, just as you suspected I was a child bride. We met in a religious cult and you know how the rest goes...

Guest blogger:

2008-07-31T11:08:00.002-04:00

My daughter wants to have her own blog. I told her that I didn't think at 7yrs. old that was such a good idea. Since she does have a few opinions that she would like to share, I decided to let her guest blog here. So without further ado, here is my daughter "Morena says".

Morena says:

Title: Dangerous toys

Toys to you are harmless ways to have fun but some have been making children sick all around the country. In some stores they will continue to sell these toys for the purpose of making money and keeping kids sick. For example the fun bright colored Aqua Dots had their name changed to Pixo to make people buy it again. They are both made by the same company and the commercial is exactly the same. Look out for these dangerous toys and hopefully your children will be safe.

I swear she wrote this herself!!!

Maybe we will have another opinion to share soon...Be well

Working things out...

2008-07-31T00:01:00.000-04:00

This past weekend I spent Saturday with my baby sis, niece, my husband and kids in Brooklyn. The first part was just okay. We went to that Chuckie Cheese in the Atlantic Ave. mall. Of course the kids loved it but my description of that place is "God awful". I hate that it is always so crowded and that my kids never garner enough tickets to get anything good. People spend ridiculous amounts of money to get tickets, so their kids can get cheap junk. Also the pizza there sucks! After leaving there we walked around Ft. Greene, had lunch at this great little bar-b-que joint and then I bought the cutest t-shirt from this clothing company called Cut it Out Apparel.
The t-shirts and dresses all have positive, empowering messages and images-I bought the logo shirt. You can were them regular or the proprietor can cut (get it) the shirts into different styles which I think is fun and gets you a customized piece. I had a good time reconnecting with my borough and I feel like maybe we can salvage our relationship. I am willing to put in the effort to work things out, keep your fingers crossed for us.

They not ready yet...

2008-07-30T00:01:00.002-04:00

Most mornings I listen to the Steve Harvey Morning Show and on Monday he was encouraging folks to vote and said that he thought Barack was looking very presidential of late. But looking the part was not going to be enough and that if people wanted him to actually be president they would have to get out and vote. It got me thinking about this race, this country and the role we play in making change. Think about it, he is damn near perfect, he owned the world stage as he traveled last week. Heads of state from European nations implied that they can't wait for him to take office. He took care of business with Israel and Palestine with both sides generally pleased. For the month of June he bested John McCain in fund raising by some 30+ million dollars. Yet, they say his lead in the polls is slipping in key states that up until now seemed to be a lock. Some of the recent poll data has him only about 3 percentage points ahead of McCain. In another poll Americans were asked who would make a better commander and chief and McCain came out on top. What is that all about? I'll tell you what it is, they not ready yet. I don't care how many rallies they show up at, they not ready yet. Clearly they are donating to the campaign or at least the ideal of it, but they not ready yet. I'm starting to think that what we consider to be a for gone conclusion is going to end up being a squeaker. In less then 100 days the decision will be made and when many of them get behind that curtain and actually have to pull the lever and choose a black man for president, there is going to be some resistance. Our job is to do more then just say "Obama 08", we need a plan of action. Help at least one person get registered to vote. We can hook up with friends to go to the club, hook up with friends to go to the polls. Make 11/4/08 an event, arrange to get something to eat or coffee before or after you vote. Check on the seniors (relatives, neighbors) you know to make sure they are going to have a way to get to the polls. This time it is really going to take a village and we will have no one else to blame if the village stays under a colonized rule.

"This is our moment, this is our time" Barack Obama

Maybe I will have another opinion to share soon...Be well.

Note: I know that Obama is not perfect, no human being is.

I know that there are plenty of "them" that are ready and I have great respect for them and their ability to embrace change.

Out of the mouth of neighbors...

2008-07-29T10:00:00.000-04:00

The other day my husband and I were talking to our neighbor, just random small talk stuff. BTW she is white and if I have not mentioned before my husband is Puerto Rican. So our conversation swings around to the economy (as seems to be the case with almost all conversations of late) and she mentions that she was at the Home Depot earlier and it was empty. This is a big deal because on Long Island the Home Depot is always bustling. Then to illustrate her point she goes on to say, "there were more Puerto Ricans standing outside looking for work, then people in the store". Hmm...I look at my husband and he looks at me and we realize on that note it is time for us to go. The funny thing was that neither one of us was angry, we just chuckled at her ignorance.

A few things:

In this community the bulk of the men who wait outside of home warehouse stores and work with contractors, gardeners, roofing companies, etc.. are South American and Mexican. I am not sure if they are all illegal but the general assumption is that many are. Is it possible that their are Puerto Ricans out there? Sure, anything is possible but I think that based on the current state of immigration and employment politics in this country it is safe to assume that is not the case. Oh yeah, Puerto Ricans are not immigrants, they are United States citizens and have been since 1917. Learn to tell your latinos apart.

Why would she feel that comfortable to say something like that to us. Is it a simple case of foot in mouth disease or is white privilege more potent then crack.

The crazy thing is if you asked me whether she is a good neighbor or a nice person, I would probably say yes. Ignorance is complex.

Should we have "schooled" her right there on the spot? Should we have gotten angry and ripped her a new one? Should my husband have reminded her that he was Puerto Rican? Why do we always need to figure out what to do in situations like this? Why do we have to have the thicker skin?

Maybe I will have another opinion to share soon...Be well.

BET

2008-07-28T00:01:00.001-04:00

I think BET is just sad. It is a wasted platform and has no positive value for the black community. There was a time when you could find a variety of programming on the network. News and current affairs was represented by Ed Gordon, Bev Smith and Tavis Smiley. Teen Summit was there for the teenage crowd. I remember how they covered World Aids Day and talked about safe sex. Where is that happening for young black people now?. They featured the variety of music in the community by showing jazz and Caribbean music videos and of course it was a vehicle for rap and r&b artist to share their work when other outlets like/specifically MTV would not play any form of black music. Where would MTV be today without black music?
Well, I am not alone in my feelings about BET. My hero Aaron McGruder, creator of The Boondocks, shared his opinions in an episode of the animated series that was banned from t.v. Enjoy!
Maybe I will have another opinion to share soon...Be well.

Random likes and dislikes...

2008-07-25T00:01:00.002-04:00

I am annoyed by people who talk on Bluetooth devices. I think it is weird to walk down the street fully engaged in conversation and appear to be talking to no one in particular.

On the other hand I think talking to yourself is perfectly fine.

I think it is strange to see people listen to music devices and not either singing to themselves or doing a little dancing, head bopping, something. Whats the point of going through the steps of selecting songs, creating playlists, etc. if you're just going to remain quiet and still? Doesn't the music make ya happy?
On the other hand I hate, hate, hate when people have the volume on their music turned up so loud that I am forced to listen. After all, they are personal music devices. I am also a little annoyed at people who still have portable CD players. Come on already, join the rest of us in embracing technology.

While on the subject of technology I hate when people are walking down the street, up the subway stairs, blocking the subway doors etc...because they are reading their Blackberry.

I think it is acceptable (especially in NY) to walk down the street eating a slice of pizza, a hot dog, a pretzel or ice cream. But it is just nasty to walk down the street eating any other type food. Don't you think that pretty much every other kind of food requires a table?

I love people, all shapes, all sizes. With that said, I have seen some interesting, maybe even mildly horrifying sights this summer. What is the deal with men walking around shirtless? I don't care how hot it is. Unless you are engaged in a tense game of basketball you need to be shirted at all times. Then, there's the women stuffed into shorts that are too short, skirts that are so tight they ride up the thigh and far too many braless wonders to count. Dammit, the proper undergarment/foundation is the key to looking "fly". (Do people still say fly? They should.) Look, if you have spillage when you cup your own breast in your hand, then it is safe to assume that you need a bra at all times. There are bras for every single type of outfit. People need to look into their options or reconsider the outfit. 1st. things 1st., get properly measured. Next, stop considering Victoria's Secret the mecca of bras. There are lots of other places with more variety. Try www.figleaves.com to get you started.

I will close with a positive. I still love "sweet tea" and the McDonald's near my house offers free refills. Yeah!!!

Maybe I will have another opinion to share soon...Be well.

Waste not...

2008-07-16T00:01:00.000-04:00

I'm in a relationship with Brooklyn and I have been since 9/27/???? when my momma brought me home from the hospital. I love her and she has been good to me. She provided so many nights on the stoop and cooling off in the fire hydrant. She taught me how to enjoy riding a bike and she gave me many a route home from a boy's house that I should not have been at. Block parties, ice cream trucks and friends-she provided it all. We've had some rough patches as well, like the time when I was about 5 or 6 and my mother got mugged less then 20ft. from our front door on our way home from Kings Plaza Mall. Then there was the time she just let herself go when she was stepping out on me with "crack", but we always find our way back. When I got married I convinced my Harlem raised husband to move to Brooklyn and both of my babies can claim her as the place of their birth. When I moved to Long Island I didn't go peacefully, I didn't want to leave my girl. I try to visit often, it is important to stay in touch. I've never felt out of place with her, but she is changing and this past weekend for the first time in my life I felt out of step. Saturday I joined my sisters and some friends at Manhattan Beach (in Brooklyn) to celebrate the summer and a few birthdays. Well the sights I saw made me feel as if I didn't know my girl at all. The beach was absolutely disgusting, there was garbage in every open space from sand to surf. My daughter and niece were jumping the waves ( my son refused to get into the water) and I had to end their play when a tampon washed up on shore. The people were rude and so self involved, the concept of community tossed like the trash everywhere. Is it bourgeois to consider caring for the environment a priority. Is it to much to ask for people to simply clean up behind themselves? I saw grown ass people drink from soda cans and then just drop them on the sand. The chain link fence that bordered the parking lot was so covered by garbage from the days picnics that you couldn't see through the open spaces. Why are people so careless? Don't they want a nice area to come back to. Oddly enough, besides my sisters know one else seemed to be as disturbed as I was. I started to feel as if maybe they didn't care because they didn't feel as if they deserved any better. They would settle for this little stretch of beach no matter what the condition. Powerlessness and disregard have been the cornerstones of the demise in so many ethnic enclaves and has opened the door to the gentrification that is sweeping Brooklyn and so many other communities. As one famous Brooklynite once cautioned, people better "Wake up!!!!" (Spike Lee-ending of School Daze) We only get one planet.
Maybe I'll have another opinion to share soon...Be well.

Satire...

2008-07-15T00:01:00.000-04:00

Of late it seems that the new way to be a purveyor of all things racist is to simply call it satire. If we poke fun at or through the vehicle of humor show the perceived absurdity of something or someone, then it is not racism. It is a very highbrow way of skirting the issue. Interestingly, the thing about that point of view is that is absolves the purveyor of any real responsibility in examining his or herself and getting in touch with whatever it is they need to deal with regarding their judgments and prejudices. This weeks cover of The New Yorker magazine is a startling caricature of Barack and Michelle Obama, that they define as satire. Is this helpful or harmful? Sometimes it makes my head hurt trying to figure out who is on what side of an issue, sometimes there is just to much gray. I've heard older folks say that when they came up in the south back in the day, they knew who the racists were and they knew how to navigate those choppy waters. Today is different it is not always clear who and what you are dealing with, it can come at you from anywhere. I'm not nostalgic for the paper bag test or the water hoses or the Klan, I'm just saying that satire gives me a headache.
Maybe I'll have another opinion to share soon...Be well.

Bossy...

2008-07-11T00:01:00.003-04:00

My daughter is "bossy", she is always ordering people around and always has an opinion to share (hmmm...sounds oddly familiar). I have a 9 year old niece and she's another bossy one. During her dance recital she could be heard telling some of the other girls that they were in the wrong places, actually during the performance. Just the other day I was with my 12 year old cousin and she's another one just conversing with me as if she was an adult, lots of attitude and lots of opinions. Normally this bothers me and with respect to my own child, I have often chided her about her bossiness. I have warned her that she needs to know when it is appropriate to speak and too not be in everyone's business. I caution her to mind her manners, things like that. Well, recently I read the attached article in Newsweek- We're Bossy and Proud of It which discusses the inherent sexism that lies within my comments. They act as a silencer, so to speak and discourages her from doing what comes naturally to her, from trusting her instincts. Oddly, enough when I think about the kind of woman I want her to be, it is the kind that doesn't take crap from people, who is overwhelmingly confident and is able to speak her mind and can run shit! That's the kind of woman I want to be when I grow up. Additionally, I know as a black woman she is going to have to be stronger, smarter, more outspoken to get what she wants out of life, so there lies the irony, why am I getting in the way of that. It's not going to be okay with me that she say and/or do anything she wants, but I will think twice about how I encourage her to consider that there are many ways to express who you are and what you want and I am going to try to refrain from calling her or any other little girl I know "bossy".

Random things for today...

2008-07-10T15:00:00.002-04:00

Jesse...

What the hell is wrong with Jesse Jackson? He's a hater that's what. When he ran for president in "88" he came to Binghamton, where I was an undergrad to give a campaign speech. I remember being so excited and proud, as were many of the black students on campus. And while many things have happened since then "hymie town", babies out of wedlock, etc... I have always keep that feeling of pride for him. Well no more I am ashamed of and for him. He has given great example to the selfish, out of touch, jealousy that clearly exists amongst some members of the "old guard" of the civil rights movement. Crabs in a barrel...
Kudos to Jesse Jackson Jr. for speaking out so strongly against the comments attributed to his father. I think it took a lot of courage to put family aside and publicly condemn his father's remarks. What I particularly loved is how he addressed him as "Rev. Jackson" as opposed to referring to him as his father. His remarks are below:

“I’m deeply outraged and disappointed in Reverend Jackson’s reckless statements about Senator Barack Obama. His divisive and demeaning comments about the presumptive Democratic nominee — and I believe the next president of the United States — contradict his inspiring and courageous career. …Instead of tearing others down, Barack Obama wants to build the country up and bring people together so that we can move forward, together — as one nation. The remarks like those uttered on Fox by Reverend Jackson do not advance the campaign’s cause of building a more perfect Union.”
Congressman Jesse Jackson Jr.

Good black...
Last night I watched for the first time the show She' Got the Look on TV land. Its the show where they we looking to find the next great model and all of the contestants were over 30 yrs. old. Well, last nights episode was the finale and the winner was a sister named Tanya. She is a mother of 5 from California and she is simply gorgeous. She is 45 years old and she was one of many beautiful sisters featured on the show. She will be featured on the cover of next month's issue of SELF magazine.

Open letter...

2008-07-10T00:01:00.000-04:00

Dear Lauryn Hill,

Hey! How are you doing and how are all those kids? I thought I would drop you a line and see if you caught a glimpse of Maxwell on the BET Awards a few days ago. Grrrrrrl! he was fantastic, looks, voice, smoothness, all intact. If you missed it check my older posts because I posted his performance. I could go on about him all day, but that is not why I decided to reach out to you. I was thinking about you after listening to the "Miseducation" the other day and marveling at how great that album still is today. It is still as relevant and musically on point as it was when it was released in 1998, to be exact it will be 10 years ago this coming August, but you probably know that. You deserved every single Grammy you won. Anyway, the point is when are you coming back, if Maxwell could do it surely you can. Hell, look a Mary (MJB) she's like a new person. There are some interesting sisters out there giving us good music, Chrisette Michelle, Ledisi, Leela James and Alicia Keys to name a few, but there is still a place for your voice, your poetry. Now as a working mother I feel you on the issue of juggling kids and career but it can be done. I know you came back once before, but lets be real, you weren't ready then but know feels like it could be the right time. 10 years under your belt, life's trial and tribulations, relationships, kids-you must have something to say. Well, I guess there isn't much more to say except you are missed and I hope to hear you again soon.

Best,
K.

Maybe I will have another opinion to share soon...Be well.

7 days...

2008-07-09T00:01:00.003-04:00

Tuesday 7/8/08 was day 7 of my 7 day dairy elimination diet. The results are as follows-

What I missed:
tea with milk or half and half
ice cream
cereal with milk (some people at work suggested that I eat cereal with juice, but I promptly informed them that that was the nastiest thing I had ever heard)
chocolate
Thats pretty much it, while I'll admit it was hard doing without wasn't impossible. When I stopped thinking about what I couldn't eat, it got easier. The 4th was a small challenge (yes, I had potato salad, I was thinking of the mayo when I posted, obviously I was a little confused) I didn't have any cheese on my burger, which resulted in me only eating one and I had to skip the mac & cheese which everyone enjoyed telling me was extra cheesy. Then Monday @ work we had a pizza lunch for the students and the smell of pizza was making me crazy.

How do I feel:
Different, maybe even better. Actually, a slightly better description is settled. My stomach feels calm.

Next step:
My plan right know is to not rush things, I bought some soy milk and a soy creamer to see if that solves my cereal and tea issues. I'm sure I will eat regular ice cream and pizza but with more caution then I did before. I am proud that I was able to do this, I don't always feel as if I have a good relationship with will power and this gave me a little confidence boost, which I needed.

Holla:
What kind of changes are you making or want to make in your life?

Maybe I will have another opinion to share soon...Be well.

Guest blogger...

2008-07-07T14:32:00.003-04:00

I recently reconnected with a friend from college through Facebook and he has been reading my blog and enjoying it might I add. He was eager to comment on the post regarding organic milk, but had so much to say that it wouldn't fit in the comments. I asked him if I could post his feedback because I thought it was important and he agreed, so below you will find one black guy's opinions about buying organic.

Maybe I or somebody I know will have another opinion to share soon...Be well.

Hi K.,

The content of your post is dear to me. When my daughter was very young, I fed her organic foods as much as possible. I did this not only to head off the hormonal problems you've cited but also because of the carcinogenic impact of hormones and pesticides. We've been consuming organic products for years now. The cost is a bit higher but the long term value is worth it in my opinion. Getting back to milk, I've looked at two studies over the years. The first one was inconclusive regarding the impact of hormones in food on secondary sex characteristics and cancer. This is common as the direct links between secondary sex characteristics/cancer and food are often not uncovered because those processes occur over years and are confounded by many factors. This study noted that there is a perceptible increase in the number of girls (in particular) who begin menstruation early, some as early as 5!! Scary stuff but true. The second study noted the negative impact that antibiotics in the food chain have on bacteria resistance. Basically, bacteria strains develop increased resistance to antibiotics as our exposure to them increases. Therefore, there is always a race to create stronger antibiotics in order to stay ahead of this evolutionary change. As more antibiotics are introduced in our diets, basic antibiotics like penicillin and others lose effectiveness. In short, I support your decision to buy organic for your family. It certainly would not hurt. Also, regarding dairy, have you tried soy milk (Silk Plus)? We've been in the soy milk camp for about seven years now.
All the Best, Cec

More hollistic stuff...

2008-07-06T00:01:00.000-04:00

The hollistic counselor that I recently had a consultation with had some interesting advice for me. She recommended that I buy organic dairy/milk based products. She was telling me about milk production and how it impacts health and development. In order for cows to produce enough milk to meet demand, they have to keep in a constant state of faux pregnancy, so to accomplish this they are give hormones. In addition they are kept in very small, not so sanitary quarters, so to ward of disease and other maladies they are given a constant cocktail of antibiotics. So the combination hormones and antibiotics get all mixed up in the final milk product. Truth is I think I knew much of this information, probably many of you do as well. But it was in that moment that it hit home for me.

Hormones + antibiotics = 8 year old girls with breasts.

Hormones + antibiotics = 9 year old girls with periods or 9 year old boys with pubic hair and mustaches.

Symptoms like these are being talked about everyday in our community but I'm not sure what we are really doing to educate ourselves. I don't know if I'm going to return to eating dairy regularly(still in the middle of my 7 day dairy fast), but I think that for the kids, its time to start buying organic. I want my 7 yr. old daughter to have as much childhood as she can before she has to be concerned about her "visitor" once a month.

Maybe I will have another opinion to share soon...Be well.

Happy 4th...

2008-07-04T06:30:00.002-04:00

My aunt and uncle are cooking out today, so along with the rest of my kin I'll be in Queens, NY doing a low key family thing for the day. I love potato salad and I really love my aunt's potato salad because she puts a lot of sweet pickle juice in it, so much so that the salad takes on a greenish-yellow hue. Well, I realized this morning @ 5:30 am that I will not be able to enjoy any of that potato salad today because this 4th of July falls during my 7 day dairy fast. Damn, Damn, Damn!!
Eat, Relax and enjoy the holiday.

Maybe I will have another opinion to share soon...Be well.

More with less...

2008-07-03T12:01:00.000-04:00

Why is it that as you get older you have to do more with less. I had a consultation this week with a hollistic health & wellness counselor and I was talking to her about wanting more from my body. As we discussed my diet and fitness goals ( as you get older you have to have goals for these things) I was also detailing the things that bother me and sometimes get in the way of my pursuit of said goals. Her advice was to essentially try to wipe the slate clean and start fresh and to accomplish that she suggested that I consider an elimination diet. This apparently is the "thing", I know at least 3 people at work who have done or are doing some form of an elimination diet. Now I'm a little reluctant because it has taken me a good amount of time to hone in on what I like to eat and I'm not so sure I want to give any of those things up. Anyway, you eliminate whole groups of food from your diet and then see how you feel off of them. Then you start to add them back gradually and see how your body reacts back on them. If you feel crappy then you know what the cause is and if everything is good, then your free to return to eating those items. Based on what we discussed she suggested that I eliminate dairy for 7 days. No milk based products. I passed 3 Mr. Softee ice cream trucks, the Godiva chocolate store and realized that I couldn't eat pizza all in the space of about 30 minutes. She was confident that I would see results instantly and I sure hope so. As I put day 2 of no dairy to rest, I'm sure that I will stop thinking about all the things I can't have in another day or so but it does make me nostalgic for the days of when you could just eat whatever you wanted and jump up and keep it moving. Wish me luck.

Maybe I will have another opinion to share soon...Be well.

Contradiction...

2008-07-02T12:01:00.000-04:00

I have really been trying to be very serious and thoughtful with this blog. Particularly when I am commenting on culture, politics, all things "black" because I am sensitive to the diversity within our culture and while I am comfortable with my opinions, I am eager to engage, not offend others. So last week I talked about music and dance and my appreciation for it. I talked about how some turn their noses up at some aspects of the roles those things play in our culture (remember or go back and read, whichever helps you to recall). I really meant all the stuff I said, but then I saw the video below and I had second thoughts. My thoughts were "I'm full of shit!!" My nose is on the upswing. My husband found this while on Facebook and sent it around to a bunch of folks with the caption, "I hope they can read". I too am hopeful that these girls have other "gifts" to share with the world then the ones displayed in the video. While there is clearly something about it that is interesting, I am not convinced that there is any real redeeming value to what they have chosen to share or the unnecessary use of the N word. I'm entitled to a little contradiction in my life, I think that's what keeps me on my toes.

Maybe I'll have another opinion to share soon...Be well.

Word is bond...

2008-06-27T12:01:00.000-04:00

Lately, I haven't felt much love for Hillary Clinton. I even said a few posts back that I'm not sure I would vote for her again if she has aspirations to continue on in her role as a senator for the state of NY . But I must admit since the race between her and Obama is over and she has stepped out of the limelight, I have begun to soften a bit. I'm not saying she's my girl or anything, I'm just saying that without the intensity of the competition I can see how hard this whole thing must have been for her. She dreamed big and lost. I am particularly empathetic to the feelings that she must have had to deal with, the loss of a dream that about a year ago seemed so assured that she could taste it. Do I think that she also felt a little entitled, Yes! But I also think that entitlement is a trait that goes hand in hand with ambition. After all if you don't strongly believe something is yours for the taking, how hard are you going to work to get it. She always seemed to be a woman of her word, a woman who would stand up for what she believed in even if her view was unpopular. I read an article/saw a news story this week that reminded me of those qualities. The link to the article is below.

Aunt Hillary’ Speaks at Bronx Graduation

She spoke at the high school graduation of a young girl she has known since the age of 2. The young lady was graduating from Pelham Preparatory Academy in the Bronx, NY.
She promised after speaking at the young lady's middle school graduation that she would be there for her when she graduated high school and she kept her word and after all your word is your bond. Good work, Hillary.

Maybe I will have another opinion to share soon...Be well.

This may just be for the ladies...

2008-06-26T12:01:00.003-04:00

The other night BET televised it's 8th annual BET Awards show. I generally don't watch the network because the programming is a disappointment and it contributes no true value to the community, in my opinion. Not like in the old days when Bev Francis was on on Sunday mornings talking about the issues or Teen Summit was there to help educate our young people. The point is on occasions like awards shows I might tune in. I actually missed the first hour and a half of the show, but via my sister (who I talk w/multiple times a day) I heard there were some entertaining performances before I began viewing. Alicia Keys performed her song Teenage Love Affair, which ya'll know I love. She also paid homage to some of the best girl groups of the 80's and 90's, she performed with SWV, En Vouge (who looked and sounded amazing) and TLC. It takes a class act like her to give props to those who made it possible for her to blaze the trail she has. OMG!! I can't believe I'm professing my love for her yet again, but anywho.

While that was good what really made my night was the return of Maxwell. Baby, where you been? What you been doin', besides looking fine. He performed as part of a tribute to the Lifetime Achievement award recipient, Al Green (who also set the stage on fire.) I had a moment when he started singing where I'm sure I was squealing or screaming (whichever one is not completely embarrassing) in my basement. He has not lost a step, he was suave, in great voice and entertaining. I checked his MySpace page for album release details, because I'm open now and I need a fix. Alas, it simply says that an album trilogy will be released starting in 08. I will have to return to my ipod and the 35 Maxwell tracks that travel with me daily. If you have more Maxwell music then that, we need to talk so I can find out what I'm missing.

Maybe I will have another opinion to share soon...Be well.

Post script: Fair and balanced...

2008-06-25T12:01:00.000-04:00

Obviously, I was really pissed off when I posted the blog about Fox News. Heres the thing, my anger does not simply come from that particular incident, it stems from the blatant racism that they try to pass off as respectable political punditry. I read today that Cindy McCain had a prescription drug problem a few years ago and at the time she was using, she was stealing the drugs from a charity she founded. I don't see them bringing that up on Fox News. All that they continue to show in regards to her is her Michelle bashing, as she goes around professing her love and pride in her country. Imagine if Michelle was a recovering drug addict. What kind of coverage would be focused on that? We can only imagine. There is another aspect to this that I can't overlook, another aspect that empowers someone like Cal Thomas to feel as if he can sit up there and talk about black women with some sort of authority. That other aspect is the kinds of images that we allow to infiltrate the media. Shows like "Flavor of Love"and the "Bad Girls Club" do us no favors in their portrayals of angry, desperate, morally deficient women willing to sacrifice self respect and dignity for 15 minutes of fame. When are we going to become concerned enough about ourselves that we learn the power of saying "No". When will we strive to be judged on the merits of our intellect whether it is book learned or hard knock life earned. Obviously, I am aware that those images are representative of a small fraction of the community, but they are powerful nonetheless.

A liitle bit about who we are...

2008-06-24T00:01:00.001-04:00

I know that we are a diverse people with many gifts and a vast intellectual capacity, but I love, love, love our cultural legacy of music, dance and the like. Many people shun the idea of singing and dancing our way through adversity as well as good times, the "minstrel" if you will. I disagree I think it takes a certain genius to be able to find the melody and rhythm in almost any situation, no matter how joyous or bleak. I also love how that aspect of our culture bridges many of our differences: age, class, American, Caribbean, southern, west coast they all meet in the middle and sway to the same beat. The other morning I passed a car full of young girls groovin' to "Before I Let Go" by Frankie Beverly and Maze, they couldn't have been older then 14, 15, 16 yrs. old and it made me smile and I thought "I bet almost all black people know that song". What else do almost all black people (a.a.b.p) know:

a.a.b.p. know at least one song from "The Wiz" (Broadway production or movie). Trivia: Who played Dorothy in the Broadway version?
a.a.b.p. sing the Stevie Wonder version of the birthday song as well as the traditional version.
a.a.b.p. can recall in its entirety at least one episode of Good Times, The Cosby Show or A Different World.
a.a.b.p. have at least one older relative that half hums and half sings "Amazing Grace or "How Great Thou Art".
a.a.b.p. via 6 degrees of separation knows someone who attended or attends Howard University.
a.a.b.p. have danced on a "Soul Train" line whether or not they ever actually seen the show.
a.a.b.p. have love for Micheal Jackson from Motown to Thriller. After Thriller a.a.b.p. are sad for him. One more thing about Micheal, a.a.b.p. remember his performance on the Motown 25th anniversary special. (That's for you C.B.)

Just a few harmless things and I know that maybe they don't hold true for all, just a.a.b.p.

Maybe I will have another opinion to share soon...Be well.

Chicks rule...

2008-06-23T12:01:00.000-04:00

A colleague of mine at work found out that I started blogging. "HE" was intrigued and we talked about new media, embracing technology, blah, blah, blah. A day or so later he brings up to another colleague that I have a blog and then says that he has decided to start one as well, because if I (me) could do it then it can't be that hard. Now there is some truth to that statement, it was not that difficult to start this thing up, but that is not the point and it made me think a little.
There are many things women do that look easy when you are simply an observer (childbirth excluded because it is not and does not look easy!). The art to being a woman is doing all that we do and making it look effortless-something men are not so nuanced at. Ask any woman who works full time in the home or outside. Ask any woman who cares for others before she cares for herself. Ask any woman who is often more educated and is forced to work harder and get paid less then the men who do the same job she does. Ask any woman you know wife, mother or sister and see what they have to say. To you sir I say "Anything you can do, I can do better...Bring it!!!

Maybe I will have another opinion to share soon...Be well.

I smell a stint in rehab....

2008-06-20T21:00:00.006-04:00

Will Smith's kids Willow and Jaden wear sunglasses at Night, Talk in Third person was the title of the piece on the Huffington Post that caught my attention. The text of the article is below:

Will Smith and wife Jada Pinkett Smith have budding celebrities on their hands with kids Willow and Jaden. Their homeschooling no doubt helps keep their schedules adaptable for movie roles. Jaden, who turns 10 next month, first appeared onscreen with dad in the critically acclaimed "The Pursuit of Happyness." His little sister Willow, 7, has a supporting role in "Kit Kittredge: An American Girl," and was also in her dad's "I Am Legend." The former opens July 2 and had its New York premiere Thursday night.

Both kids came - in sunglasses- with mom Jada. The movie opens up against Will Smith's big-budget "Hancock," but Willow isn't worried about the competition. She told Extra, "I think I'll be the biggest flashing star." When asked if her movie will top her father's, Willow declared, "Yes...I'm going to post up on daddy's movie. Willow is the star.

Are these kids cute? Without question. With those two for parents it goes without saying that they have oodles of the talent gene, but could things be teetering on that fine line of grounded and completely out of touch. I've read that the homeschooling system that their education is based on is closely tied to Scientology and we all know how L. Ron Hubbard felt about black people. I don't know maybe this is just movie stuff and I am completely off the mark, but Tom Cruise is considered to be a close friend of the family and we all know that dude is crazy.

Maybe I will have another opinion to share soon...Be well.

For the wives...

2008-06-20T00:01:00.003-04:00

My hubby is the "shiznit"-good looking, smart as a whip, funny, hard working, a great dad and takes care of business (if you know what I mean- wink, wink!). So here's the thing why is this incredibly capable man rendered helpless every time I send him to the supermarket without me. I almost always send him with a list if there are more then three items that are in need, but he still calls me. One night recently, with list in hand off he went.

On the list chicken legs and chicken thighs.
Phone call: "They don't have the legs." Response: "Okay, don't get them."
On the list 1lb. of deli turkey.
Phone call: " The deli line is long." Response: "Okay, wait on the line and get the turkey."

My son kept looking at the caller ID every time the phone rang and would say "It's daddy again". Four calls later he triumphantly returned with as many items as he could get and I think slightly relieved to be done with the task. I guess I need to be appreciative of the fact that he wants to get it right, to please me. The last time I sent him to the store and he didn't call, he came home with a generic box of grits. What's a girl to do? Luv ya boo!

Maybe I will have another opinion to share soon...Be well.

Fair and balanced...

2008-06-19T17:00:00.001-04:00

Throughout this election cycle I have tried to really to have a broader base of understanding, so for me that has meant exposing my self to a variety of view points. So while I have been glued to all forms of local news, internet sources, CNN and MSNBC, I have also taken to watching Fox News on occasion. "Keep your friends close, keep your enemies closer" was my thinking. When I do watch, the hairs on the back of my neck stand at attention because I am so often amazed at what passes for "fair and balanced journalism on that channel.
Well I came across this clip and I had to take a look. I urge you to see for yourself.
To Fox News I say, they are full of "fair and balanced BULLSHIT"

cabello dominicana ...

2008-06-19T00:01:00.003-04:00

During my hiatus I spent a weekend in the ATL and I learned a few things. First, let me say I had a wonderful time, hubby and I stayed with friends who moved down there 2 years ago and we miss them terribly, so it was good to spend time with them. They have a lovely home, a great family and wonderful friends.

On to the lessons...
Here in NY Dominican hair salons have become the go to locations for black hair care. There is literally one on every block from the tip of Washington Heights all the way out to the suburbs of Long Island and NJ. The basic hair care services that most of them offer are so highly sought after because they are inexpensive and the wait time is minimal. On most occasions when I get my hair washed and set I can expect to pay within the range of 12-20 dollars and be in an out of the salon inside and hour and a half. Well I learned via my trip that Dominican salons are not the same everywhere. My hostess, myself and one other person set out bright and early on the Saturday morning of my stay to get our hair done. We arrived at the salon about 8:30am (they opened at 8am.) My hostess signed us up on the customer list the night before, so we didn't have to wait very long to get started (the sign up thing made a few sisters unhappy, since they arrived at 8am and we were serviced before them, but anyway). Well, let me tell you 4 hours later and $25.00 lighter, we made our way out of the salon. You heard me, 4 hours later, I too was flabbergasted. I could not believe that we had been there so long, but what was even more hard to believe was that the other patrons did not seem to mind the wait. It seemed that as far as they were concerned that was par for the course. Well, it is not and $25.00, I didn't even get a deep conditioner. There is not enough competition in the ATL, there is no urgency to get the customer in and out. Dammit, they need more Dominicans in Atlanta: good, cheap black hair care demands it.

Maybe I will have another opinion to share soon...Be well.

Shirtless...

2008-06-18T00:03:00.004-04:00

So I saw SATC on opening night and on my way to Penn station on the #1 train there a 3 men in my subway car, one of which was not wearing a shirt. Nasty!!! and no there was no heat wave, as a matter of fact is was about 11:30pm. The 3 of them were engaged in this loud conversation that they clearly wanted others to hear and they were talking about the movie characters. Shirtless says "5 years ago I was Samantha, but now I am Miranda" ( I know this because I wrote it down in my notebook). So I am wondering a few things:

Why did this revelation or any other tidbit of information need to be shared sans a shirt.
I don't know how I feel about a man identifying himself as one of the characters from Sex and the City. I don't think I likey.
I don't know how I feel about women characterizing themselves as one of the ladies from Sex and the City for that matter.

Only in New York do you see stuff like that.

Maybe I will have another opinion to share soon...Be well.

Gone, but hopefully not forgotten...

2008-06-16T21:04:00.003-04:00

Hey, I know your are wondering where I've been for the last 2 weeks (which totally felt much longer). Work and home was on overdrive and I also took a little weekend jaunt in between. All those things combined left no time for the blogsphere. But have no fear I had my trusty notebook w/me at all times and my observations have been recorded and I am happy to share them w/you. Hmmm, where should I start...

I participated in what is thought to be the biggest online American Idol pool in the country (2nd yr.) but I didn't have David Cook in my top four, so I didn't win a damn dime.
Flavor Flav has finally found love, he asked his last "baby's Mama" to marry him. There is truly someone out there for everybody or a fool born every minute, pick your poison. YUCK!!
The season finale of "LOST" was amazing. No, I didn't expect Locke to be in the coffin, but no worries nothing on the island is as it seems, so I'm sure he is not really dead.
Gas prices make my stomach hurt. The day that I finally paid over $4 a gallon a tear came to my eye. There is no going back people, these prices are here to stay.
I saw a grown up movie. I went to an opening night screening of Sex and the City (thanks A.P). I was stunned at the numbers of women (all shapes, sizes and colors) that turned out to see the movie. I hope they all turnout like that in November.
Speaking of November- Obama, Obama, Obama!!! Barack Obama clinched the Democratic nomination for the presidency. While I have been swept up by the possibility of his accession and believe in him, I did not have that same faith in this country. I thought something would happen, something would come up and snatch the hope away, but thank God I was wrong. I love his confidence, his compassion and his intellect. I also loved when he changed up his fashion game the week of 5/28 and put aside the requisite dark suit and wore a "tannish" suit, OMG! he looked so sharp, sooooo...Presidential. The link is a nice photo album of his life, thanks for sending it to me C.J. http://www.msnbc.com/modules/interactive.aspx?type=ss&launch=16456639,16438329&pg=26

As a NYorker I had the opportunity to vote for Hillary Clinton in the last 2 Senate elections she ran in, and I did on both occasions. After this whole primary thing, I've seen and heard somethings from her that don't sit so well with me. I'm not so sure that I would vote for her again. I read an interesting editorial in Newsweek about the fallout along gender and race lines that this election has stirred up, its written by Marjorie Valbrun- http://www.newsweek.com/id/138514

I definitely have some other opinions to share soon...Be Well

Shout outs...

2008-05-29T11:11:00.004-04:00

My sister sent me a great post yesterday (http://bouska.blogspot.com/2008/05/time-to-eat.html
and it got me started reading other blogs. I read and clicked and read and clicked and in the end was thoroughly entertained/intrigued. I know what you're thinking, but I was still able to get my work done. Anyway, there are some really funny, witty, provocative folks gettin' they're thang on in the blogsphere. I thought I would take this opportunity to point you in the direction of a handful that I definitely will be visiting on regular basis. Unless otherwise noted attach (.blogspot.com) onto the name of the blog to pay a visit.

bouska
afrobertson
the12thplanet
ineedamartini
thejadednyer.net (this is the otherwise noted one)
randomishnycsarcasm-this one is my sister's so I had to list it. :)

The other thing I want to say is thanks to all my peeps for reading and commenting on my posts. As I have alluded too in the past this is my ticket out of obscurity so I need you (if you haven't already) to post your comments on the blog, that way I will appear to be popular and widely read. In addition "fan out" tell everyone you can think of about my sterling wit and encourage them to take a peek.

I appreciate your support.

K.

Maybe I will have another opinion to share soon....Be well.

Some more extra stuff about me:
Tonight is the season finale of Lost and it is going to be "CRAZY" good. Please don't even think about calling me after 9pm.

Post script: Just like me...

2008-05-28T00:01:00.000-04:00

I've been thinking about what I wrote and 3 things came to mind.

1. I hope I didn't sound all high and mighty waxing all poetic about being the best parents that we can be.

2. I didn't write it because that's how I am with my kids, I was writing about how I want to be with my kids.

3.How in the hell do we do this job, without question the hardest one there is?

Yesterday, I was not successful in reaching that goal. I completely lost it with my son in the morning. Now to be fair, he was pushing my buttons (really hard, like leaning on a car horn hard) and I wanted to stay in "the happy place" but I could literally feel my blood boiling. BAM!! I'm yelling, he's upset and the day is shot, all this before 8:00am. Sometimes I feel completely ill equipped for the challenges of parenting. These little buggers show up with no instructions and every time you think you've got them figured out, they change or we change or something changes. I wish there was a go to place for all the right answers, but I know there is not, you just have to jump in feet first and learn from trial and error. Its just worrisome when you're in the error zone, you don't want to mess them up for life. After all thanks to Freud I know that 20 years from now, when they're stretched out on some therapist couch talking about being unable to commit or some other crisis, they will realize that everything is all my fault. Anyway, tomorrow is another day and we all get the chance to start over. What do you do with your kids? How do you handle the challenges?

Maybe I will have another opinion to share soon.....Be well.

Some more extra stuff about me:
I have a few girl crushes, nothing crazy, just people that I think are pretty kool. I love that Alicia Keys is the total package and I can listen to her music with my kids in earshot. Her new video for "Teenage Love Affair" takes me back to my college days. I'm digging how bad ass Rihanna is, daring to be different. I just read that she cut her hair way back when she first came out and the record cloning factory (company) made her dye it that pop star, black girl blonde, but this time around she simply refused. I love Majora Carter, founder of Sustainable South Bronx. She is taking environmental justice to the next level; Al Gore is checking for her. Visit her org's site at www.ssbx.org. My favorite album right know is Ledisi - Lost and Found. She is awesome. Oh yeah, I also love the word of the day from dictionary.com.

Just like me...

2008-05-27T00:01:00.002-04:00

I have a 9 yr. old son and a 7 yr. old daughter and they are great kids. Both are cute, smart, funny, amusing and did I mention cute? :) But boy do they get on my nerves. They take forever in the bathroom, they won't get up in the morning and they won't go to bed at night. When they're playing together its loud and when they're fighting its even louder. I don't have enough arms to be able to pick up after them and if I am breathing I'm doing laundry. Uggg!
The other day my daughter thought is would be fun if we took turns pretending to be each other. She went first and as me, she started yelling at me and saying all of the things I say to them about what they are not doing. She was really scolding me. Well the whole thing stopped me in my tracks and I had an idea of what she and her brother must feel like when I am laying into them. I realized that while like every parent I get frustrated, that I need to keep that type of stuff in check. My issues are my issues and there is no need to share the burden with them. They are only doing the kinds of things kids do, making messes, being noisy, many of the same things I did when I was a kid. Hell, I still hate to get up in the morning. I have got to be more aware of how I talk to them and what I say. After all it is my job is to build them up, not beat them down. I want them both to be effective communicators when they have to fend for themselves out in the world and those lessons start with me. Our kids want to be like us, no matter what, whether we are at our best or our not so best. It is our responsibility to make the effort to be on the side of our best as often as possible.
I have a 9 yr. old son and a 7 yr. old daughter and they are great kids and I am lucky to have them.

Maybe I will have another opinion to share soon.....Be well.

Transit thoughts....

2008-05-26T00:01:00.006-04:00

This one may be a little long, bare with me.

I commute to NYC for work via the Long Island Railroad. I purchase a monthly ticket to cover the cost. On the 1st morning of a new month you are allowed to use the previous month's ticket but you must have the proper ticket on the return trip in the P.M. This month I used my April ticket on the morning of May 1st. with the intention of buying a May ticket that afternoon. On my way home I got a little sidetracked when I stopped to get a "sweet tea" (read my 1st post) and forgot to buy my monthly ticket. Uh ooooooh! I realized I'd forgotten as soon as the doors of the train closed. So, when the conductor comes through to check tickets, in my most humble voice I say "I don't have my ticket". BTW I also don't have any cash (all I had was $1.09, which I used on the tea). I never do, I use my trusty debit card for everything. Thus I am not even in a position to pay the jacked up fee they charge you for buying a ticket on the train. Oh yeah, as you already know I am black, the conductor was not. Well he is none too happy with me and he does not hold back letting me know. He starts telling me that this is unacceptable, it has been happening all through the train and that I'm going to have to pay. "I don't have any cash sir", I say. Well as you can imagine he gets angrier and he starts to yell at me and tell me he may have to call the police, etc... Now I don't check him on his tone and attitude because I am totally in the wrong and you know the old saying "you can catch more flies with honey blah, blah, blah. Being the skilled multitasker he his, he continues to go off on me, while asking the woman in the next bank of seats for her ticket-she happened to be black also. You guessed, it she was in the same situation as me, needless to say he straight loses it. After he rants some more we are both asked to produce identification, which he uses to scan a list he has in his pocket, which I assume is some sort of repeat offender list. Neither one of us is on his list. He issues us both a summons/ticket that must be paid by mail or at the main terminal in Penn Station. So clearly there is a procedure in place for such an occurrence. Fast forward to this past week, some 20 days into the month. I'm on my way home and a conductor is making his way through the train checking tickets (different guy, same persuasion). He comes upon a woman who is not black and she produces an April ticket, "I don't have my ticket" she says. The conductor mutters something under his breath, while giving her the evil eye and then without so much as a word he continues to travel through the train car. There is no yelling, no ranting, no threats, no embarrassment and most importantly no replacement ticket. I think to myself what is that all about? Is it simply a matter of inconsistency in enforcing policies or does she get a pass because of something else? What do you think?

Maybe I will have another opinion to share soon.....Be Well.

More tea talk...

2008-05-25T20:58:00.003-04:00

My first post was 5 days ago and it has had a profound impact on my life. First, I think I could really get hooked on this blogging thing, I've since started carrying a notebook to record random thoughts or ideas to write about. Second, I loved the attention I got from those who commented on my first post, it doesn't even matter that of the 5 posted comments I received 3 came from my 2 sisters and one from someone who is sorta like a sister to me . The 5th came from my new best friend, big shout outs to 12Kyle. My husband read it and said it was "nice" which I'm deciding meant he "loved" it. The 3rd most profound effect blogging has had on my life, is that I had my first "sweet tea" today. That's right a whopping 5 days after I went on and on about the masterful goodness that is McD's "sweet tea". Now I know what your thinking "what kind of sweet tea crack head could she be"? Did she just do it for the sake of fame? The answer is no, rest assured I am the real deal and while I hadn't had on in about a week, I had been thinking about having one everyday. The problem is, that calorie information really got to me. I have this christening to go to in a few weeks and I bought this dress and hold it... I know what your thinking but the dress fits, it would just fit so much better less a few pounds. An additional 200+ calories (sometimes double that) a day is going to make that dress thing a real issue. So I just eased up a little. There is no need to go into detail on the effects of the banana pudding I had on Wednesday night and the peach cobbler I had on Thursday night, that just won't be helpful to what I am trying to convey here. The point is today when I sipped that nectar of the gods (w/2 lemons) I realized how much I missed it and it missed me. So I have decided to find my dress motivation elsewhere, I will be having another sweet tea tomorrow.

Maybe I'll have another opinion to share soon.....Be well.

Here it goes...

2008-05-20T22:06:00.000-04:00

My sister has been blogging for a few months now and loves it, so she had been nagging-I mean encouraging me to give it a try. I am one of those people who likes to read, watches lots of television and then formulates opinions on everything, which I promptly share with her, my husband and my co workers. So I guess she thought I should play nice and share with others, or I'm getting on her nerves. She also suggested the topic for my 1st. post-my latest addiction Mickey D's new sweet tea. My family is country, they hail from South Carolina-Orangeburg to be exact and though I was born in Queens, and raised in Brooklyn (NY) we grew up with many traditional southern influences. My Nana makes a mean sweet potato pie and people have had something akin to a religious experience after having my mother's fried chicken. I put that out there so you'll understand, that I know a little something about the finer points of many things southern and I know a little something about what makes a good "sweet tea". I know that if you travel down Interstate 95 that once you hit Maryland, from then on there is no need to ask "Is the tea sweetened?" Of course it is because downsouth (yes, that is one word) that's how people drink tea. Now I don't know about you, but I don't expect much from these large fast food places. I appreciate the familiarity, so that if I'm in a food bind or a money pinch I can get something and not have to think to hard about it. I don't expect perfection, but something crazy has happened and dammit McDonald's has stumbled upon something so close to perfection it boggles the mind. The tea has the perfect amount of sweetness, it doesn't loose its flavor when poured over a heaping mound of ice and the lemon ( you need to actually squeeze the lemon wedge into your tea) adds the perfect twang. OMG!! that tea is good. How could I leave out the most important part, the cup that it is served in is 32oz. and all this sweet goodness costs only $1.oo. That's right you heard me, $1.00. I have been drinking one everyday for the last couple of weeks. I plan my commute home accordingly so that I will have enough time to stop and get a sweet tea before I get on the train. The other morning I was feeling a little stressed and I had one to calm my nerves and it worked. When my kids ask for a sip, I get upset, I don't want to share. I know this all sounds crazy, but I have no shame, there is a sweet tea monkey on my back and I think I can carry the extra weight. I learned tonight while preparing for this post, that a 32oz. serving has 230 calories and that doesn't even bother me that much.
Well.......maybe it bothers me a little. Maybe that little tidbit is the one flaw, in this otherwise flawless invention. Okay, okay that part really sucks. I don't want to act rashly, now that I have this caloric information, I will need to think very carefully about my next move. Maybe, a sip of sweet tea will clear my head.
Maybe I will have another opinion to share soon.......Be well.

Some extra stuff about me:
I am completely wrapped up in this election, "Obama 08". I am sick that I will have to wait another year to see what national/international catastrophes will go unsolved because Jack Bauer is not available and I have loved Matthew Fox from his days on "Party of Five" so following him to the "island" on Lost was a no brainer for me. I recently learned to play the game "Celebrity" and I loved it and I never commute to work without my Ipod.